It’s almost Christmas time and New year’s eve, so I sat my but down and wrote all the lessons this year had taught me.
I went through so much this year, that it deserved a post. Actually, every end of the year, we should take our time to think about our gains and losses, and what we’ve learned with them. Because if we don’t learn anything from our greatest experiences, then it was all a waste of our time, my friends.
Here’s the list. (The order is not meaninful of the importance)
First, to speak my mind is always rewarding. When some situations were bothering me and I would force myself to talk about it with the person and deal with the problem in a good way, I’d wondered why it took me so long to do this. It’s definitely not easy, but I know it’s always for the best.
Second, there will always be problems in our life, always. So we should learn to fight the right battles and let it go the insignificant ones. If a situation is inconvenient for you, short term and long term, run. B of the future, get the heeeell out, please, please. Be more selfish with your happiness, sometimes is a good thing.
Third, I learned that long-distance relationships can work. It is a commitment, for sure. But to love and be loved back it’s such an amazing state of being that every effort it’s worth it, to keep that one amazing and incredible human being by your side, and happy.
Fourth, the good old need of saying ”no”. Is still complicated, but I’m working on it. Because to do what I want and not what others expect from me is amazing. When I wanted to quit my job, for example, I thought about how I would let my parents down, but for the first time in a long time, I decided to do it despite this feeling. Girl, what a relief! I was definitely doing what I knew was right for ME, MYSELF, MOI. That feeling got me hooked, it opened my eyes that I can do whatever the fuck I want. The important thing to remember is the consequences of my actions, and that I’m responsible for them.
One of the biggest slaps in the face I had this year was a few weeks ago when I was reading this book called “The subtle art of not giving a fuck” (by the way, I recommend this read to everyone). It basically says that we’re responsible for everything that happens to us. It may not be our fault but it is always our responsibility. We are constantly choosing how to deal with what life brings to us, so based on our choices and actions there will be consequences, as I said. To be a victim of the situation is to deny our responsibility in our life. We need to use the power of choice in our favor and change the facts we are not happy about or how we see them. Of course, a lot of things are out of our control, but we can still control our actions and feelings regarding these things.
Speaking of control, did you know that too much alcohol is not good for you?! Exactly! So stop drinking too much of that shit, thank you.
Seventh, happiness should not be an end, a future goal, it should be something you seek in the present, with what you have right now. Happiness for me is something that comes and goes but I know that is always there. Because it’s about moments, those minutes and hours that you look around and feel so satisfied with yourself and/or the people around you. The moments you shared with the ones you love or places you love. That’s happiness for me and I already have it, not all day but mainly every day. It is not hard to have it, but some people find it hard to see it.
I also discovered a new way of dressing for myself. Got in touch with my feminine side. Earrings, skirts, dresses, lipsticks, nail polish… After being a tomboy for a long time, I realized I can wear whatever I feel like and not what I think it fits my style. Our style shouldn’t be something defined and solid, it should be fluid, fun to play with. What I considered my style in the past should not to put me in a box where I wear the same stuff.
Ninth, self-help books are for everyone. Everyone. Remember the book I mentioned earlier? Yah, you should read it. We all need help, okay! Same with therapy, we should all go to therapy! But because I don’t have money, I stick with the books for the moment. Another thing: self-knowledge is incredible and refreshing. I discovered a subject that I love to read and talk about. It got me thinking about going back to school to study psychology, who knows…
Last, but not least, I learned that emotional pain is necessary for emotional growth. As simple as that. As Mark Manson said at The subtle art of not giving a fuck, ”Our most radical changes in perspective often happen at the tail end of our worst moments. […] We need some sort of existential crisis to take an objective look at how we’ve been deriving meaning in our life, and then consider changing course”. So, when things get rough, remember that this is probably for a reason. It’s life trying to push you to new understandings about yourself, the people and the surroundings that touch your life at that moment.
This might be all, people. For the moment, 2017 it’s still not over. But I hope I can read this in a few months and still apply all of this in my life.
Wish you all the best, my friends.
Lots of love and light. Happy 2018!