”I can’t be upset” But shit, I’m upset!
A few years ago, I wouldn’t let myself feel negative feelings, I would feel guilty don’t know exactly why. But eventually, I got suffocated.
Many things happened, but today I just accept all my feelings, without blocking anything, the good and the bad ones. I repeat the scenarios, the dialogues, the whole thing that made me feel this way. After a moment, I talk to myself and try to understand those feels.
We cannot deny what we feel thinking we are saving ourselves from trouble. That’s wrong, wrong! You have to be honest with all the shit that’s in your head because you know yourself better than anyone. Acknowledge what you’re feeling, understand why, go to the core of the issue that made you feel this way. Eventually, if you’re truly honest with yourself, you’ll realize what’s bothering you.
When it comes to negative feelings, the trick is: feel all the feelings temporarily. Allow yourself to dive deep in them, feel them, analyze if you’re right or if it’s just you’re ego that got hurt, and then get out, work your way to being okay again. For me, it’s a matter of one to two days processing all of it in my head and then letting it go. Don’t let the blues consume you for too long, that’s dangerous, baby.
When it comes to intense love feelings, it’s kinda the same. If something/someone gives you butterflies, don’t deny it. Is this a one-time thing, or this feeling keeps coming back when I’m in this specific situation? If it’s coming back, you better deal with it, just between you and you. Or you can just fully deny it and backlash these repressive feelings on someone else on your life. I mean…
You are going to live with yourself for the rest of your life, so you better get to know yourself as you are. Feelings are a tricky messy thing to deal with, but once we let down the fear of discovering some truths about ourselves, it becomes easier and easier.
In the end, when I do that, I get so grateful to be able to feel my real feelings, to really be me. No filter. No lies. No sugarcoat. Just me and my real feels. It kinda makes me feel alive, and happy for having this privilege.