Recently back in Canada, after 1 year and a half in my hometown, I get little moments of sights and flashbacks of home.
At times is a good thing, at other is a bit depressing, because I feel a huge load of loneliness that stays for a few seconds and normally go away. Especially when your loved ones are all gathered, and you’re the one that’s far away, this feeling hits you.
When I was back at my hometown, some weeks prior to coming here I knew this would happen. I would feel this classic feeling. I tried to be grateful for all my moments while I was there. Because I was happy and I knew it. Even though some moments I couldn’t wait to be back here with my friends and my independent life. It’s always a fine line, am I right? Because the neighbor’s grass is always greener. Until you live there and start missing your grass.
The advice I give myself is that this is a black cloud that comes and goes but never stays too long. And if they do, I try to not see them as a heavy cloud to carry. It’s there, I can feel it, but it doesn’t stop me from not loving life. Cause I do, and I think about it very often. Pockets of joy, these are the ones you need to grab when these clouds get to you. People and things you love and bring you joy, appreciate life with them.
Because the blues of being away from home when you’re an immigrant never goes away forever. Even if you’re happier where you are. There’s always someone you miss, a place where we lived beautiful memories, a scent that gives you a flashback. We just have to “roll with it” and remember why we decided to left and stay where we are today.
Honestly, nostalgia has a habit of making things way prettier than they really were. So let’s not allow the blues to get us for too long.